It's a...

Whew, it feels so surreal to be here at almost 21 weeks!  This pregnancy has just flown by, extremely easy and carefree in regards to the new baby.  I hadn't been at all anxious to know if it was a boy or a girl up until last week when I could hardly wait for this morning.  My heart and head have undergone a complete transformation and I switched from expecting/wanting a boy to wanting a sister bond for my girl.  I thought alot of my own sister and how lucky I am to have her and now her little Jax.  Jax is hers but I love him like he was my own because she's my little sister barely 2 years behind me.  I wanted a best friend for my daughter that was homegrown in love and loyalty.  I still had a small hunch it was a boy but I felt in my bones it probably wasn't going to be so.

We got all set up in the ultrasound room and the first picture that appeared was baby #3 spread eagle and I knew immediately that it was a girl!  She was letting us know loud and clear that she was indeed a "she" and not to mistake that!  Had we said we didn't want to know it would have been impossible to miss.  It was hilarious and I panicked for a sec thinking forward to the teenage years with 2 girls but after that we were so very excited!  We saw her give a big old yawn and then bring her tiny hand up to her face for comfort.  She was so cooperative with all the pictures except for the spine so I have to go back at my 28 week appt for one more ultrasound...bummer :).  Just watching her move around in there and stretching her tiny muscles was an absolute joy.  What a gift to just be still in awe and wonder.  Will she have blonde hair?  Brown hair?  Red?  HA!  We are so excited to see her and touch her and see who she resembles!

sorry for the terrible cell pic of a pic but since moving I have no idea what we did with the scanner!

A boy for Riley would have been great but they would have more than 6 years apart in age and Alyssa is in desperate need of more estrogen in the house with an all boy brother as her influence for the last 3 years!

I went up to the garage attic and rifled through Alyssa's newborn clothes the last few weeks and I desperately wanted to use those again.  Those soft pink sleepers and delicate dresses that my Lu graced for just a short time were needing to be worn again.  I think of our girls sharing a bedroom like my sister and I did and I dream of their budding friendship, dress-up dates and tea parties for two!

Following this appt I have been on cloud 9.  It feels so good to put a "face" to the baby rolling around in there and kicking me good and hard when my early alarm goes off.  She is the one that gets up with me and kicks me to keep me awake for those first very early hours.  She is the one that has slowly but surely put my heart on notice to come together and look forward to the future.  We just want to hold her so badly now and this pregnancy has finally gotten real for both of us.  She is our tiny miracle weighing in at 13 ozs currently.

I'm currently typing with 3 very loud boys playing guns and war behind me meanwhile my daughter is desperately trying to find a foothold with a princess dress on and bangles galore.  She is pleading to stay "alive" and trying to find anyone to pay attention to her femininity.  Poor girl, I cannot wait until Daddy gets home tonight so we can break the news.

Neither has asked me yet what we are having, they are too young, wrapped up in themselves to remember that today was the day.  I imagine Riley will be a little crushed but we talked about it at bedtime the last few nights and I think I have him prepared to be the little man of the house that will be the protector for two precious, pretty girls.

Our all boy starts baseball (coaches pitch) on Monday and our sweet girl starts dance in a few weeks.  This summer is going to fly by and I cannot wait!