Motuwethufrisasu

Yep, that pretty much sums up our days/weeks lately.  We have no idea what day it is and they are flying by so incredibly fast it is unbelievable.  My days consist of bottles, dishes, laundry, books, diapers, potty breaks, snacks, hide and seek, baths, fishing, playdough and pictures and D and I look at eachother at the end of the day and let a little sigh of relief out.  We made it through another day.  Tasks that used to take 10 minutes now take an hour because we forgot how time consuming babies truly are!  If we want to eat, she undoubtedly needs to eat, if Riley needs to sit on the pot Alyssa undoubtedly needs a diaper change and when it's time for Riley to go to bed Alyssa stares up at us like "you must be kidding if you think I am going to bed now that I have you all to myself."  It's fun, busy, overwhelming at times, adrenaline rush kind of days and I love it.  I look back at my week and think "We've done good."  Riley might have been a pill and Alyssa might have blown through 3 outfits but this is our life and we make of it what we want.  I can't help but sit back and smile while thinking "it's a wonderful life."

Our littlest love is on the mend from her cold and has been sleeping from 9:30-12:30, from 1:15-4:30 and finally from 5:30-9:00 so I am happy and somewhat well rested.  I love the recliner in her room and I am pretty sure I could sit in there all day long and just be happy.  It's so pretty and new in there that I just love it and hope she does too.

Riley and I made it to 2 year old school on Thursday and he was so excited to show me the ropes of his day at school.  He painted, played, cooked, and listened a story from the Cat in the Hat who helped the kids celebrate Dr Seuss's b-day and by the last 1/2 hour he was getting tired and wanted anyone besides me to hold him.  I think he is still punishing me a little for having another baby and he wants to make sure I feel his pain.  So Friday evening Auntie Katie came over to watch Alyssa and we took Riley Roo out to dinner all by himself.  He was so excited and danced happily in the booth as we ate but after dinner when we asked him if he wanted ice cream he replied "no, time to be home pees."  He said he missed Lyssa and Katie so I know he is torn by wanting it to go back to just him and loving Alyssa and wanting to take care of her.  It's still a learning lesson everyday and I see improvements in his sadness over the change so we put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on.

I could easily see myself staying home full time and mothering our children 24/7 but I don't feel the great sense of dread and overwhelming sadness at the prospect of going back to work like I did with Riley so I am hoping the transition is not so devastating this time.  Time just keeps chugging along though so I guess I will see what future emotions come out.  For now I will just try to stay in the day and enjoy all the things about my children that will inevitably change too quickly.  I do sneak in a few pictures here and there but nothing like when Riley was a baby.  In fact the poor boy misses my camera.  The other day while feeding Alyssa I walked into the living room to find his puppies prominently displayed on the card table/fish house/deer shack/anything his imagination can dream up and he asked ever so sweetly "Take mine picture pees Mommy."  How could I resist!?  Here's a few of my faves from this of so fast and fun week!  The rest are over at Shutterfly!  : O

He really, really loves her! 

And so do we!!!  

Survival 101

Our first weekend without Daddy was a huge success!  Although I was nervous about having a 9 day old and a 2.5 year old alone it was fun and we made it through with smiles and naps!

Alyssa has been such a good little sleeper and went to bed at 9:00 on Friday night so Derrick I both got to go to bed at the same time : ) and then Daddy got up early to spend some time with his girls before leaving for the Ducks Unlimited ice fishing tourney on Mille Lacs Saturday morning.  Riley Roo was good to his Mama and came into bed to watch toons until Alyssa got up at 9:00 so I got an extra hour of sleep and awoke to a smiling set of huge eyelashes right in front of my face.  He was so excited that his sister was up and wanted to make sure Mommy heard her.  It was fun just laying in bed with both of my children enjoying a lazy Saturday morn as we watched TV and laughed at the silly faces Alyssa makes in her sleep. Riley was really helpful with her all weekend feeding her and even getting huge burps out of her.  Somehow every morning gets away from us (how with 2 kids and no routine does that happen? : )  and before I knew it lunch and naps needed to happen which was followed by a visit from one of my oldest friends and then we headed off to G'ma and G'pa Hutchies house for some din din.  Riley spent the night there so Alyssa and I headed back home to have a girls night.  Sweet girl slept from 11 to 6 and I was so worried about not hearing her that I let her sleep in bed with me but she was quiet as a mouse and I of course was up with aching you know whats at 4:00 when I unsuccessfully tried waking her up and so I was more than happy to keep sleeping after taking care of business.  ;  )
We made it to Sunday school where a very proud Riley was so excited to show off his sister!  It was pretty fun having her in a cute little corduroy dress and watching people dote on her but it was also tiring and we were ready to get home and see Daddy again!

So we survived, we actually thrived and my confidence is building as I navigate mothering 2 young ones.  Riley is still proving difficult at times but after Sunday school I realized it is probably more about his age as the other 2 year olds were also very non compliant to their parents and needed time outs just as much as he did!  We will continue to take it day by day and start establishing a routine to help us out with the next 10 weeks and we will end each day with prayers of thanksgiving for our time together and prayers for an even better tomorrow.  For now we are just happy, content and enjoying time.  I am finding energy I never knew I had, second winds that are coming at the perfect times and an appreciation for motherhood that I didn't know I was missing.  I love my children!

The proofs in the pudding...see for yourself how successful our weekend was!

 The boy's eyelashes still astound me and he fed her the whole 4 oz bottle and he looked like an old pro the whole time.  

 Still hard to believe that we have 2 kids!  

So sweet!

She smiles all the time, even with her little eyes open she's been caught smiling!  I just adore this picture!

And just to prove I am not a total slouch I did take a few pics of my sweetheart in her V-day hat.  To bad the hat came on the 15th!  Oh well, still a great combo of crochet and cuteness!  

Blogged

Baby Girl has been blogged...

my talented cousin Anne graciously offered up her home for some playtime and pictures of Alyssa which was a huge relief since I have energy to get myself and the kids fed and bathed and my house clean but beyond that have zero energy for pictures of the posed variety.  If you have taken pictures of newborns you understand that it is one of the hardest things to do, is extremely tedious and time consuming and is downright hot!  (You have to keep them warm and a space heater is a must!)  So Friday we invaded the Schaber household where Riley had tons of fun playing with Owen and his cool toys and Mommy got to sit back and relax while picture taking commenced.

Check out Anne's blog for a sampling of the pics she took!

http://www.annieschaberphotography.com/

Thank you Anne and Owen for letting us invade!  We love you and are so thankful!

P.S.  If you need pictures taken book her today!

One week

Wow, I can't believe our daughter has been here for a whole week already.  I am a total emotional mess today as I reflect and relive our experience last Wednesday.  I can do nothing else but stare at her in wonder and awe so thankful that she is finally here.

We had her one week check up this morning and it was nothing short of insane getting out the door as I struggled to get 2 children and myself ready and out the door by 10:30.  I laugh that I thought sleeping til 8:30 was enough time for us!  I actually encouraged D to go to the office and meet us at the clinic by 11:00.  Although to my credit my little one caught Riley's cold and she fed on one side for over 40 minutes because she had to keep pulling away to breathe.  It is heartbreaking watching her sneeze up bright green snot and cough during her sleep.  We are all feeling her sickness and I woke up with a sore throat also!  Ugh, what a long and sick winter it has been!  Good thing our babe has been sleeping well!  The last 3 nights she is sleeping from 12-4 and then from 5-9 so I have been getting really adequate amounts of sleep plus since Riley has been sick we have been snuggled up on the couch basking in the sunshine through the windows lazily watching the morning pass by reading books and watching toons.  The sleep is good, the feeding is going great and she is up to her birthweight with no jaundice and no serious issues.

We had a great appt with our favorite pediatrician Dr. Rzepka and Riley was especially proud to show off his little sister which brought huge smiles to our faces.  He was very concerned that she would need owies and stayed by her side most of the appt.

He woke up with a great outlook this morning and I have been exceedingly proud of him.  Uncle Kyle is going to go to school with him tomorrow since I am not quite up to it and have been feeling a little ill myself with a sore throat and body aches/chills so I am feeling lucky to have such a great Brother and Uncle to Riley in Kyle.

I will no doubt have tears in my eyes tonight when the clock strikes 10:34 p.m. and I will squeeze Alyssa all the more stronger as I remember through her eyes how lucky I am to be the Mama of 2 children.

Sorry about the previous post I clearly lost my train of thought and forgot to finish the paragraph about Riley going to bed but it's finished now and I love the comments Shannon.  You are truly a seasoned pro and someone who I look up to as a Mother and Wife.  I am only sorry that we don't see more of eachother's families!

Here's just a few precious pics of my loves.

The 3 T's of adjustment

1. Tears.
Lots of huge crocodile tears.  Riley is on such an emotional rollercoaster right now that the littlest things will turn him into a teary mess.  Poor boy hasn't cried so much since...well he has just never cried this much.  I think he feels like his whole world is upside down and the only way to make it better is to cry and try and figure out his new existence.
2. Time outs.
Riley has spent more time in the time out zone then he ever has before.  The boy is lashing out for attention by throwing his milk cup at me or whipping a pacifier across the room or by just not listening.  I have never seen him act like this and he just will not stop doing something if we ask him to so he ends up spending more time in the corner of the hallway then he probably does not spending time in the hallway.  He actually threw a cookie on the floor in the middle of what I thought was a perfectly nice dinner so he went right to time out and then started crying there.  When I came to him and wanted to talk it out he just wrapped his little arms around my neck and cried "miss you mommy, me miss much."  Just broke my heart.  How can we help him!?  My sweet son is on vacation most of the time and we cannot wait for him to show back up again.
3. Trances.
We call his silent treatment towards us trance time.  He will literally clam up and stare off to one side of you and not utter a word for an amazing amount of time.  This usually results in a time out because we don't know what else to do with him.  On discharge day at the hospital he wanted our attention but D was busy with Alyssa and I was talking to the nurse and when we finally turned around he was gone.  He had gone in the bathroom and was sitting in the empty tub all by himself.  He wouldn't talk to us and he wanted no hugs.  We don't know what to do with him.  Is it better to acknowledge his silence and let him ride it out or send him for some quiet time until he is willing to talk about it?  The silent treatment is an absolute button pusher for me.  I just have zero patience for it and cannot wait to ask his Dr tomorrow what the best way to handle it might be at Alyssa's appt.

It is heartbreaking to watch him struggle and not resemble the real Riley at all.  Derrick took him out to Target over the weekend and he seemed revived when he got back after spending some alone time with his Daddy so I took him to Target last night to pick out a special gift and we spent over an hour walking up and down every aisle.  We held hands while he insisted we go down the vitamin aisle, the feminine aisle, the produce aisle, the endless grocery aisles and I kid you not we walked down every aisle.  I wonder if he knew that by walking every aisle he was getting to spend more time with Mommy?  We did pick out him some fun stuff like big boy underwear with footballs on them because this boy is rocking the potty training stuff.  In the middle of playing on Sunday we found him running down the hallway and he was already taking off his pants and unders to pee before D could get to him.  He is doing awesome at it and seems very proud that Alyssa needs diapers but he doesn't so we go way over the top with praise and joy over every drop of pee pee and every little turd that finds its way into the toilet.  He also got a playdough puppy set that we played with for over an hour today.  To find anything other than fishing and hunting gear that keeps his attention is nothing short of a miracle so that was exciting!

I have noticed everyday him getting better and better though.  He was super excited when Alyssa woke up this morning and he helped me change her diaper and then he even helped me give her a quick sink bath.  We are going to make cookies this afternoon and I am really looking forward to him spending some alone time with his G'ma and G'pa this weekend.  I think the huge change in routine is wearing on him also because yesterday after G'ma Hutch left he awoke from his nap asking for her and begging me to take him to her.  It was really sweet.

The good news is that Derrick is his rock right now.  He is lucky to have such a hands on and wonderful Daddy that is so very patient and loving with him even when it's nearly impossible to do so.  I am so happy to see those 2 together and have a little bit of jealousy as he used to love me so much and doesn't seem to anymore.  I still get my bedtime hug and kiss though as we say prayers and 50% of the time he asks me to lay with him like he used too but it's pretty hit or miss.  I always scratch his little back and we whisper to each other before we shut the door on the day but lately he doesn't want any of it and he asks me to leave.

This is certainly a work in progress and I would welcome any suggestions from anyone regarding the huge transition this is for a child.  Also say a prayer for our patience and understanding since as the day wears on we have less and less of it.

Hopefully our fun loving, smiley Riley will be back shortly!!!

The day we met her

started off ordinary and it ended in absolute perfection.

I called the Dr to schedule my 41 week appointment and U/S and casually mentioned that we were wondering about the inducement that fell through from Monday.  She said she would get back to me in 10 minutes after she talked with the on call provider.  Nearly 3 hours later she called to say check in at 3:00 to have a baby.  We all went into overdrive.  Riley needed lunch and a nap, D needed lunch, I needed a shower, lunch and to get finished up packing and so on.  D dropped Riley off with G'pa Hutch shortly after lunch and I had 20 minutes to myself to talk to my daughter and tell her how very excited and nervous I was to meet her.  Derrick came home bubbling over with excitement and I tried to play it cool as I was expecting to be passed over again but at 2:00 we left the house and headed to the hospital and at that point it became real...we were actually going to meet our little baby.

We checked into a nearly empty L & D floor and met our nurse Gidgette (she was so nice and we had a ton of fun with her) and after getting an IV and some fluids hung met the midwife on call shortly before 4.  She finally broke my water a little after 4 and I pretty much baptized the whole room.  From there on out we walked the hallways until D went down for dinner around 5:00 and I was so excited that I started feeling strong contractions after he left.  He came back and I was walking with my IV pole and reading my book-this elicited very curious looks from other patients and I wanted to show them my ring finger and tell them my husband was eating a quick meal but I refrained and kept to our long empty hallway instead of walking the whole circle.  Shortly after D came back from eating my contractions were strong enough so that I couldn't talk anymore during one and they were coming every 2-4 minutes.  I was giddy.  We kept walking until 7:00 when Gidgette checked me and I was only dilated to 6 cm.  Pretty disappointed to only be a 6 I decided after the expert advice from Gidgette to get my epidural.  I sat on the edge of the bed and we waited while I painfully contracted every 2 minutes for an hour until the anesthesiologist finally arrived at 8:00.  My epidural was in easily by 8:30 and by 9:30 I was fully dilated at 10 cm and shocked at how fast it all went.  Thank goodness Gidgette advised us to get the epidural and give up walking because we would have missed the chance at how fast I went from a 6 to a 10!!!  Plus the added pressure from sitting straight up and contracting like that probably helped me dilate so fast.  Since I had just got the epidural and was feeling no pain we decided to start pushing at 10:15 when hopefully I would feel a little something indicating it was time to push.  Of course I didn't feel anything even at 10:15 and we decided to just watch the monitor and push anyways when a contraction came on the screen.   I also chose to have a mirror in the room so I could see how I was pushing and that made all the difference.  As soon as they looked at my progress at 10:15 and saw her head just waiting to be prompted out everyone gloved and gowned up and after 3 contractions of pushing hard I watched her tiny little body slide effortlessly out and I cried like a baby.  It was 10:34 p.m. and she weighed in at 7 lbs 5.5 ozs.  It was perfection.  Pure and utter euphoria that after just 6.5 hours of hard work she was here and being watched over by her Daddy as she was weighed and checked out.  He talked to her and told her how much she was loved and how long we had waited for her.  I cried as I watched them interact.  I cried at how much love was in that room.  I cried at how much I wanted her and how connected I felt to her.  I didn't stop crying for 45 minutes.  We rocked the delivery room again and it was the 2nd time I felt so completely rewarded and insanely humbled at the same time.  She was here and she was perfect.  We just stared at her and finally decided that she looked our little Alyssa Marie.  She didn't have the hair that I thought she would but she was absolutely beautiful.

My parents were there shortly after delivery and were able to meet her and say goodnight before they headed back to bed and we were transferred to a new room at 2:30.  D went home for some zzz's at 3:15 and our fresh little babe and I spent the entire night falling madly in love.  I held her tight and cried to her  all of my hopes and dreams for her.  I told her she was precious and that I would always be there for her.  It was the quickest night of my life and I enjoyed every second of it.

I welcomed the contractions like an old friend.
I enjoyed the epidural like nobody's business.
I pushed like a seasoned veteran with determination.
and now we love like it's going out of style.

We enjoyed a lazy day just the 3 of us on Thursday until Katie, Kyle, G'ma Hutch and the proud big brother showed up to meet her.  D and Riley took off for the evening and us girls enjoyed a quick visit from my Auntie and Uncle and then the night was ours again.  I whispered to her that we better enjoy this alone time because we were getting discharged the next day and we did.  We cuddled, bonded, cried together and awoke the next day full of joy and excitement that this was going to be our everyday from here on out.

We got discharged on Friday and came home to hole up as a family of 4 and just enjoy each other.  We did just that and have been doing that since.

This time around I feel fiercely protective of her and hate to give her up only to be held by someone else so be patient with me as I practice sharing myself and learn right along with my 2 year old how hard that lesson is sometimes.

Thanks for all the well wishes.  We couldn't have asked for an easier delivery and we are so lucky and blessed to be parents again.  Challenges will certainly ensue and patience will be hard to come by at times but there is NO place else in this world I would rather be then at home with my husband, son and daughter.  

many more pics to come as soon as we find the cord for the point and shoot!

Waiting on you...

my little girl it has been a long journey and right now it feels like I have been carrying you around for years.  The first thing your brother said to me this morning in the dark as I walked into his room was "Mommy, baby still in you?"  The first thing your Daddy said to me this morning was "I can't wait any longer."

Now if the boys feel this strongly about meeting you can you try to imagine how I feel?

I have been up the last few nights feeling you move around, negotiating with you to wait until daybreak to come and pleading with you to give me enough time to get an epidural!  You have been a surprise every step of the way from when we thought we lost you at 13 weeks to when we found out you were a girl at 20 weeks to when we saw you in 3D at 25 weeks and just about died at how you were a spitting image of your brother to most recently finding out you were breach and needing to be turned around and then finally surpassing the 40 week mark and still waiting somewhat impatiently to meet you.  You are our very stubborn little thing and we absolutely cannot wait any longer to meet you.

Finally at 3:00 today we are getting admitted to have my water broken and I won't believe it's really happening until I have an IV in my hand and I am hanging onto to your Daddy's arm while we walk round and round the hospital floor getting closer to seeing you.

I can't wait to have your tiny fingers wrapped around mine.
I can't wait to see if you have hair.
I can't wait to hear you cry out for us.
I can't wait to see you meet your Daddy.
I can't wait to see you meet your Brother.
I can't wait to hug you and tell you how much I have loved you for the last nearly 2 years and how much you have been anticipated and wished for.

I am so in love with you and can't imagine how much more in love with you I will fall when you are finally placed in my arms.

I will enjoy these last few hours with you alone like you wouldn't believe until I finally get to share you with everyone else.

Can't wait...cause you're our little girl!

Love from your Mommy

Go Fish-Your My Little Girl

Waiting game...

Our appt went great and I am sitting at 5 cm.  We were told to go eat lunch and then come back in 2 hours after walking to be admitted.  We ate, we walked, we browsed, we shopped and we obviously aren't admitted yet.  The floor had too many Mommy's waiting to deliver so they are calling us back at 5:00.  To say we are disappointed is an understatement but we are reminded that all great things are worth a wait and that she cannot possibly stay in there forever so off we are to nap and relax until we get a phone call around 5:00.  What a nice day it is outside with the sun shining and at least I am not at work!

Hoping for an admission later tonight but would be fine with my water breaking in like 10 minutes : )

Poor D, he is just restless!  At least we both slept pretty well last night!

40 Weeks...

WEEKS: 40 weeks!

BABY'S SIZE: 20 inches, 7.5 lbs, the baby is the size of a small pumpkin....small (ya right! : )

TOTAL WEIGHT GAIN: 37 lbs now which I blame on laziness!

SLEEP: Sleeping...who in our house is sleeping?  Riley actually is but D and I are getting little to none especially now that I am done with work.  I get up to go to the bathroom 5-6 times a night and every time D is already awake and waiting for me to say "go."  It's great practice for when we actually have to be getting up every few hours but we would love a few really good nights of sleep but we are too far along to take a Tylenol PM so we are just going to have to trudge on!  

MOVEMENT: She is still very active and seems to be happy as can be in there.  

SYMPTOMS: No symptoms anymore.  Feeling pretty great actually and am having natural energy highs due to the excitement.  

WHAT I MISS: I am just going to enjoy this last week and I am not going to miss anything from my pre-pregnacy days because Lord knows we have no idea and cannot 'plan' a pregnancy so it might be awhile before we are preggo again.

 CRAVINGS: Salty and sweet anything!

MATERNITY CLOTHES: So glad not to put on scrubs anymore and I am back to rocking lounge pants and D's shirts which are oh so comfy!  

WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Hopefully not writing out a 41 week post!  ; )  But she has been such a stinker that you just never know!  

PROGRESS: I see the Dr again tomorrow at 11:40 and last week she wanted to keep me since I was technically in active labor at 4 cm and 90% effaced but after she called the L & D floor and discovered they were full she let me go so I am wondering if tomorrow's appt will actually be an admission.  D will come with me and Riley will have to go with Nana for at least the morning but I am pretty set on not wanting to be induced and just letting it all happen naturally so I am anxious to see where we are sitting.  She said if I am at a 5-6 cm there will be no discussion and I will be admitted and we will have our girl soon that probably means another restless night for this excited Mama and Daddy!

I'll take 'Anticipation' for $500 please Alex

Anticipate literally means to expect; look forward to; be sure of. All things our household is doing currently, obsessively, to no end.

We expect to be holding a newborn before the weekend comes to a close.

We look forward to naming her, holding her, introducing her to her brother and family and so much more.

We can be sure of the fact that she cannot stay in there forever and that no matter what we will soon be holding her.

To say this has been a long week is a total understatement.  It has gone by surprisingly fast and at the same time excrutiatingly slow. 

Every night I try to shut my mind off and just sleep but to my dismay cannot.  It's impossible.  I imagine our little girl and what she will look like.  I envision driving to the hospital and remind myself over and over again to soak up all the little details like the drive, the admitting process, getting hooked up to the monitors and so forth so that I never forget them.  I love the details, the mundane, the pre-cursors to baby having.  It's all those details that make for an incredible experience to look back upon and without them you cannot get from point A to point B. 
My legs are restless with anticipation as soon as I hit the sheets.  They are armed and ready to jump up and get dressed at a minute's notice.  Every little movement she makes causes me to question, contraction? adjustment needed? time to pee?  water breaking?  It's ridiculous.  I am being the worlds most impatient person right now. 

Unfortunately all we can do is wait.  So I will return home at the end of the day-my last day of work for the next 12 weeks-and wait.  I will wait and love on my son and husband, go through her drawers and stare at the cute clothes some more, rock in the comfy brown chair and read some more, fold the blankets in her crib once more (since Riley likes to snuggle in there after we put his pj's on), shave my legs once more, get one more pedicure and dream some more of how life will be once she is here.

Dreaming is fun but we are ready to touch her, hold her, kiss her, love her. 

Sweet girl don't make us wait in suspense much longer.

To waiting and wondering with every kick/movement she makes...

Packed and Ready....

that is if you are Riley!  Daddy pulled out a small suitcase for me so I could get packed up and start putting my things in it after I get ready in the morning but while I was doing the dishes Riley decided to fill it up with the uber important items that any 2 year old one need for a 2 day stay in the hospital.  Sweet thing even put his lovie in there for me and refused to sleep with it last night.  When we tried to take it out he yelled out in protest "For you Mommy!"  Thanks little man now Mommy won't be bored
; )!

Giant firetruck: Check

Fishing pole X 2: Check

Video game: Check

Woody: Check

Light saver: Check

Yellow kickball: Check

Bouncy ball: Check

When he got all done packing it up he looked at us and said "hard work mommy/daddy!"