This year, 2012 brings with it the fact that we are going to have a one-year-old in less than 5 weeks. And while that excites me it also brings me close to tears. Tears over how fast this year has gone, tears over memories of sitting with D on the couch watching the Superbowl and remembering that it was our due date for baby girl and that she was happy bouncing around on the inside, tears at the memories of the day she did come and how intimately I felt bonded to her. It is going to be emotional to welcome in and fun because it involves cake and presents and cute shirts that declare "Birthday Girl".
2012 will bring new challenges in regards to our 3-year-old because 3 is proving way harder than any other age we have encountered. Riley is full of independence, drive, motivation and excitement which is so incredible to watch but his will power is not matching up with his emotions and they collide head-on many times causing meltdowns of epic proportions. He needs stability and support and we are learning right along with him what limits should be and how we find that middle ground. He is my deeply emotional child and he feels things like I do, strong and hard. He wants to please and realizes sometimes to late that what he thought was funny or helpful just wasn't. He is trying to keep up and gets sorely disappointed when he just can't do something. He has a good heart and a strong spirit and at the end of the day that is what matters most to me.
2012 finds me about 8-10lbs over where I would like to be. D maybe 10-15 although if you asked me I would say 20-25 : ) How do we find that middle ground between working out for peace of mind and release when we already have such precious limited time with our children? It is important, it is healthy and yet it can be so hard to find the time.
It is new, it is fresh and it IS exciting. What is most exciting to me is just watching everything unfold. Not having a set goal or plan but instead just waiting and enjoying. Taking PTO days just because and basking in the glory that is a clean house with laundered and ironed clothes hanging up crisply in the closet. Cleaning out drawers to make way for the next size, drawers being clean and organized always makes me giddy, but I digress. Using my hands more this year and making things (easy things) like a framed barrette holder and fabric banner for Riley's room. Getting back into scrapbooking because the pictures continue to pile up. Getting in more pictures with my kids because when I am said and gone all the cute leaf bokeh and summery backdrops will mean not nearly as much as if Mama is in the shot even if it is out of focus and my legs are cut off.
Goals, resolutions, plans, those are not really the words I am looking for to explain my desires of this new year. Hopes and dreams may fit better but those haven't changed just because the calendar did. No doubt this year will be busy. No doubt this year will be rewarding and no doubt that I won't have days that I throw up my hands to surrender but this is the year my baby turns 1 and my big boy turns 4 and I turn 30...ack! It's going to be great and I wouldn't trade off with anyone! It is what we make it and that gives me hope and peace and an immense sense of excitement.
Happy 2012!
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