We had decided to see the midwives who office right below me in the hospital since this time around I don't have time to go to appts before work and could just use my hour lunch break to run down quickly. Also we figured Derrick doesn't really have to attend every appt this time around since it's just BP checks, how are you doing questions and peeing in a cup. So on Wednesday I headed down at 11:40 and saw Amy for the 2nd time. This time around I was anxious to hear the heartbeat since she couldn't find it at 9 weeks and we both figured at 13 weeks 4 days it should be easy. Well it wasn't, in fact after 15 minutes she was starting to panic and called in a Perinatologist who also couldn't find the heartbeat. They stood above me talking as if I wasn't there saying things like "she's skinny and even with a tilted uterus it should be here", "I can feel the uterus plain as day right here nicely swollen so why aren't we hearing your little heartbeat?", and then the kicker "I think it's time to call the husband." My heart was beating so loudly that the doppler started picking it up and as they exited the room I sat up stunned and terrified. I immediately called D who was just off of 494 and 100 so he changed plans and came racing to the hospital. The nurse came in and told me to start drinking water because they were sending me straight to admitting as soon as D got there for a STAT ultrasound. I almost vomited. Amy came back in and told me she wanted to see me right away afterwards and that she wouldn't relax until she saw a heartbeat. I was in a total state of panic by this point and after checking in and making our way up to radiology I just lost it. I couldn't stop the tears and I had started shaking. We talked about if there had been anything different with this pregnancy and D questioned the last few weeks over and over again but we couldn't remember anything out of the ordinary. The ultrasound tech gave us her concerned hello and explained the procedure. I needed no explanation-just get to IT! She put the wand on my belly, looked at the screen for a minute and didn't say anything except "let's do this as an internal exam." We thought it was absurd that she couldn't at least see a heartbeat from this angle or be able to reassure us just a bit but I quickly changed and was ready to go. Baby #2 wasn't moving at all when he/she finally flashed on the screen but we finally saw the flicker of the tiny heartbeat and after 70 minutes of panic, torture and agony everything in our world was right again. Baby was apparently in rest mode so we will have another ultrasound at 17 weeks to measure fetal movement again but everything was fine. We left and went straight home. I fell asleep and napped for 2 hours and never left my room. I was emotionally drained, completely exhausted and totally angry and depressed about the situation. I had horrible nightmares that night and cried as I explained to my co-workers what had happened. I was pissed off and so disappointed by the way it was handled but after talking/crying to my dear friend Rach who also saw midwives for a short time, realized that they possibly aren't always the best under pressure and are more unsure of themselves and tend to go overboard. This also happened to her and she switched back to MD's. We also switched back to MD's so now I will cross Hwy 100 on my breaks and happily sit in the waiting room at Park Clinic and hope it takes less then 60 minutes.
We will still be anxiously awaiting hearing our little babies heartbeat for the first time at the next appt and needless to say D will be present as I am unsure if I can do it by myself again.
For 70 minutes our world completely stopped-we thought the worst had happened, for 70 minutes our hearts shattered and for 70 minutes I wondered what I had done wrong. I questioned everything from my playing s-ball, to my choice to workout occasionally, to my choice to have mac and cheese 3 days in a row for lunch. I walked around shaky for the next couple of days but once again feel relaxed and positive about this pregnancy. I will also feel a lot better about borrowing Rach's doppler for the next 24 weeks and finding the heartbeat on my own-whenever our hearts desire.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Oink, Moo, Cocka-doodle-doo
Our Little Man's 2nd Birthday was a fun day filled with farm animals, friends and lots of fresh air.
The Eveland Family Farm was the host of his big day and as you drove up the long driveway we were greeted with lots of cows, peacocks and ducks. I had set up stations of fun activities to keep the kids entertained and luckily we had some shade to help keep everyone cool. I found it very helpful to think like Riley when planning out this party. What does he love to do? Play, read and be creative so we had three stations. As my Mom and I were setting up I heard Riley running up to shelter yelling "Whoa, Mommy, Wow, Mommy" he was in utter amazement at the fun that was to be had and I knew that it was kid approved.
Create with Me. Cute and fun barn themed stickers adorned colorful pieces of paper and even the adults got into it.
Read to Me. We brought all of Riley's favorite farm books like Barnyard Dance (Sandra Boynton) and a few kids had fun looking through them.
Play with Me. Didn't expect this to be a hit but bringing toys outside does wonders. Evan, Owen, Riley and Logan loved playing with the barn and the Little People. Riley hasn't touched those toys for ages and he was utterly attached to the green John Deere wagon.
The kids were able to roam around the property and enjoy the animals and the peacocks kept everyone entertained and they screamed and screeched. We made our way over to the pigs, chickens, goats, llamas and one very, very old horse and I completely forgot how very allergic to hay I am. My whole face started itching and I had to take an early exit from the barns.
Afterwards we had cupcakes that Riley and I made and decorated and they were yummy. He loved his 2 candle and proudly exclaimed "Two" to anybody that would look his way.
Then came the presents and he received so many nice toys, many were of his favorite Doody and Buzz.
He especially loves the Doody chair he got from Aunty Sandy and Uncle Gregg. He loves having snack time in it and enjoys the perfect size made just for him. My sweet Cousin Anne printed out a few of the pictures I had taken and gave them to me framed which was so thoughtful.
We rounded out the afternoon with a hayride and by that time it was super hot, kids were tired and the parents were worn out so the 15 minute ride was more than enough.
Riley had so much fun and was such a good boy. He didn't have any meltdowns and was just happy to have his friends and family around. We were really blessed to have so many people show up and I am so thankful that everyone had a great time and that the sun was out and the rain stayed away.
The Eveland Family Farm was the host of his big day and as you drove up the long driveway we were greeted with lots of cows, peacocks and ducks. I had set up stations of fun activities to keep the kids entertained and luckily we had some shade to help keep everyone cool. I found it very helpful to think like Riley when planning out this party. What does he love to do? Play, read and be creative so we had three stations. As my Mom and I were setting up I heard Riley running up to shelter yelling "Whoa, Mommy, Wow, Mommy" he was in utter amazement at the fun that was to be had and I knew that it was kid approved.
Create with Me. Cute and fun barn themed stickers adorned colorful pieces of paper and even the adults got into it.
Read to Me. We brought all of Riley's favorite farm books like Barnyard Dance (Sandra Boynton) and a few kids had fun looking through them.
Play with Me. Didn't expect this to be a hit but bringing toys outside does wonders. Evan, Owen, Riley and Logan loved playing with the barn and the Little People. Riley hasn't touched those toys for ages and he was utterly attached to the green John Deere wagon.
The kids were able to roam around the property and enjoy the animals and the peacocks kept everyone entertained and they screamed and screeched. We made our way over to the pigs, chickens, goats, llamas and one very, very old horse and I completely forgot how very allergic to hay I am. My whole face started itching and I had to take an early exit from the barns.
Afterwards we had cupcakes that Riley and I made and decorated and they were yummy. He loved his 2 candle and proudly exclaimed "Two" to anybody that would look his way.
Then came the presents and he received so many nice toys, many were of his favorite Doody and Buzz.
He especially loves the Doody chair he got from Aunty Sandy and Uncle Gregg. He loves having snack time in it and enjoys the perfect size made just for him. My sweet Cousin Anne printed out a few of the pictures I had taken and gave them to me framed which was so thoughtful.
We rounded out the afternoon with a hayride and by that time it was super hot, kids were tired and the parents were worn out so the 15 minute ride was more than enough.
Riley had so much fun and was such a good boy. He didn't have any meltdowns and was just happy to have his friends and family around. We were really blessed to have so many people show up and I am so thankful that everyone had a great time and that the sun was out and the rain stayed away.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
List of 5
Here's 5 facts about Me and pregnancy:
1. I break out like a teenager. It's horrible, embrassing and of course I can't use anything strong (or anything that actually works) because I am, well you know.
2. I have the appetite of a gorilla. After church one Sunday a few weeks back I ate about 9-10 pieces of french toast. Needless to say this made some alarms start ringing with the parents and they wondered why on earth I was eating so much. I am starving-tummy growling on the edge of passing out starving numerous times a day. Although I would appreciate not gaining nearly 60 lbs this time around I am wondering if it's really unavoidable?! : )
3. I can cry even more uncontrallably then before the hormones started raging. Case in point: I bawled at the thought of 'cheating' on Riley and not having a big enough heart to love 2 babies. I bawled the whole time we watched P.S. I Love You on Saturday-THE WHOLE TIME. I gave myself one hell of a headache and went through a whole box of Kleenex (nearly). I can cry on lunch break rather easily when I think about Riley and realize how much I miss him. That is why I read and walk-briskly and for a good 35 minutes. Then all I can think about is going back to work for 2 hours and stinking. (My co-workers tease me that my brisk walking looks like I am running. What can I say I do everything with intention.!)
4. Pregnancy makes me a nester for the whole 40 weeks. I have been utterly obsessed with yardwork this week. I have mowed twice, weeded my pitiful, tiny, round, neglected for many years 'garden' til there was no more weeds left, filled the yardwaste bin twice with sticks, twigs, leaves whatever was lying on the grass (I hate even 1 leaf on my grass-yes, I have a little OCD), weeded out the rocks in front of our house and now I have my eyes set on the weeds in the cracks of our driveway.
5. Pregnancy brain is real for me. I sent Riley and D to the Dr's office for his 2 year old well check at 6:30 on Monday only to get a text from D at 7:00 asking if I hated him?! OOPS-the stupid appt wasn't until Tuesday at 7:00 a.m. so for 2 days in a row he had to get up at 5:30, wake the boy up and drive to the clinic and then all the way back to Andover. Riley was so confused to be woken up on Monday that he didn't mind the visit but on Tuesday he had smartened up and wasn't so enthused to be up so early. And even worse the fridges went out Monday evening so the vaccines had gone bad so we have to make the trek there again on Friday for his shot. Stupid. Should have checked the calendar but didn't.
1. I break out like a teenager. It's horrible, embrassing and of course I can't use anything strong (or anything that actually works) because I am, well you know.
2. I have the appetite of a gorilla. After church one Sunday a few weeks back I ate about 9-10 pieces of french toast. Needless to say this made some alarms start ringing with the parents and they wondered why on earth I was eating so much. I am starving-tummy growling on the edge of passing out starving numerous times a day. Although I would appreciate not gaining nearly 60 lbs this time around I am wondering if it's really unavoidable?! : )
3. I can cry even more uncontrallably then before the hormones started raging. Case in point: I bawled at the thought of 'cheating' on Riley and not having a big enough heart to love 2 babies. I bawled the whole time we watched P.S. I Love You on Saturday-THE WHOLE TIME. I gave myself one hell of a headache and went through a whole box of Kleenex (nearly). I can cry on lunch break rather easily when I think about Riley and realize how much I miss him. That is why I read and walk-briskly and for a good 35 minutes. Then all I can think about is going back to work for 2 hours and stinking. (My co-workers tease me that my brisk walking looks like I am running. What can I say I do everything with intention.!)
4. Pregnancy makes me a nester for the whole 40 weeks. I have been utterly obsessed with yardwork this week. I have mowed twice, weeded my pitiful, tiny, round, neglected for many years 'garden' til there was no more weeds left, filled the yardwaste bin twice with sticks, twigs, leaves whatever was lying on the grass (I hate even 1 leaf on my grass-yes, I have a little OCD), weeded out the rocks in front of our house and now I have my eyes set on the weeds in the cracks of our driveway.
5. Pregnancy brain is real for me. I sent Riley and D to the Dr's office for his 2 year old well check at 6:30 on Monday only to get a text from D at 7:00 asking if I hated him?! OOPS-the stupid appt wasn't until Tuesday at 7:00 a.m. so for 2 days in a row he had to get up at 5:30, wake the boy up and drive to the clinic and then all the way back to Andover. Riley was so confused to be woken up on Monday that he didn't mind the visit but on Tuesday he had smartened up and wasn't so enthused to be up so early. And even worse the fridges went out Monday evening so the vaccines had gone bad so we have to make the trek there again on Friday for his shot. Stupid. Should have checked the calendar but didn't.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
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