Theisen Trio: A little Easter and a little all over the place

There is something so special about my little girl. I love her so darn much it hurts most of the time. She just kills me with her blue eyes, blonde hair and perfect little lips. When I hold her I almost always instinctively walk over to a mirror and stare at her reflection because to hold her is perfection but I still need to drink in her sweet self, full of expressions and smiles. I remember holding her for the first time nearly everyday and it is still so fresh it feels like just yesterday. Sweet, delicate, tiny dancer, you are just the perfect ying to Riley's brown haired, brown eyed yang. You are the calm to his hyper. You are the gentle to his rough. You are our girl and we stare at you in awe all the time. Can you believe the change in her in just a year? She has so much hair now that it makes her almost unrecognizable to last year at this time. Every time I see that commercial where the Dad is standing outside the passenger side window talking to his little 4 year old about driving safe and carefully following every road rule only to have her turn into her beautiful 16 year old self I could cry. Ain't that the truth that it only takes a blink of the eye and they are grown? I am just really loving being her momma and she is as previously mentioned perfection.

Easter was good. We got up and did the basket thing, bathed and completed the shower thing, dressed and primped to complete the polished look thing and then rushed out the door to make it to breakfast. Our wires got crossed and we went to the wrong place. Miscommunication seems to be my thing as of late. It's like my brain is racing a million miles an hour at all times. Reading takes tremendous effort and I can hardly make it through 2 pages without just putting it down to lose myself in something easier like FB or the TV. Sitting down and doing absolutely nothing has become some what of a lost art at our house. See? There goes my train of thought. I feel disconnected and unable to string together consecutive, adult thoughts. So basically you need to bare with me, realize that a person who gets up everyday at 3 a.m. comes up with outrageous ideas and requires a nap everyday now. I have this constant list of must do's running through my head like visit the new baby born, spend alone time with Riley just walking around and taking spring pictures, spend alone time with Alyssa walking around and taking spring pictures, think and find meaningful mother's day gifts, is Daddy out of town at all this weekend?, invite the neighbors over for dinner in appreciation for everything they do and give to our kids, find/make meaningful gifts for Riley's teacher, spend time getting Sunday school's lesson ready, what time am I working until tomorrow?, is the dog puking?, where is my Target list?, return all of those too big clothes back to Baby Gap, turn in Riley's field trip form and once again ask for the day off, see The Hunger Games, make mom's day out plans with Rach, dinner alone with D, take Riley to a movie, and on and on and on, certainly nothing new, certainly nothing no one else experiences but for some reason quite debilitating as of late.

I need structure, I need lists, I need a calendar. I need a day with no plans and a day to stay in cozies all day long. I need to take pictures like a fat kid eats cake. Now that I clearly can identify what I "need" I have started a very structured approach to everyday that includes my life planner, my kids and the breathing room to totally fail and still feel very fulfilled even when I can't cross anything off the list.

It started with a quick night out just D and I. The kids went to church and were babysat by the teachers, a deal we took advantage of at the last minute. Win-win really. The school makes some extra dough, the kids have so much fun they almost burst and we get a dinner out alone...Cue Ruth Chris Steakhouse, the best petite filet my mouth has ever tasted a homey, small, sophisticated room all to ourselves thanks to our elderly eating habits, easy conversation and a race to get back to our kids. Is it normal to miss them so much you can't get back to them fast enough? Alyssa was adored on by all and Riley was so excited to tell us "I made 2 new friends, one in a black shirt and one in a white shirt."

It continues with impromptu car trips to farther away parks to just run around and lose our minds in slides, swings and rolling down hills. To throw rocks in a pond, to go to the pet store because looking at all kinds of fish swimming around is fun, free and really relaxing. To just take each day singly and just do the best you can with that day. It's a constant battle and requires patience and practice. I hope to get there someday.

It's also following through with a game plan where Riley is concerned. He has been a handful lately. So much energy all wrapped up in a his little body makes for a rough and wild Riley. He had been walking by Alyssa and just giving her a little push, enough to knock Sister down, or sticking out his legs so she trips, wrestling with her until it's not fun anymore and she is crying. We did not know how to handle it and appropriately turned to FB for real life advice, kind of ironic eh? What we learned is that this is pretty normal, experienced by nearly all and totally manageable. How's that for sucking up your feelings of total parental failure and turning it into something positive, slowly but surely we are all guiding our way through the crazy year that 3 has brought to our boy, we are looking forward to 4 and taking deep breaths when things go awry but doling out mucho praise when things as planned and punishment/persistence pay off. Needless to say my brain has been pretty much all consumed over worrying about the psyche of my 3 year old. I was so embarrassed over it all, feeling so clueless and helpless only to find out, hello! this is normal sibling stuff. My children are not perfect (trust me, I kind of already realized that) and they will be testing boundaries for the next 18 years, along with irritating each other to no end.

On that note, here's my perfect (oops I am still working on that) children doing life lately.