I have a vibrant, excited, happy little boy who can hardly contain his excitement for life. I have a pretty, smiley, healthy baby girl who is growing by leaps and bounds. I have a husband who makes me feel like a million bucks and even though I have a few extra pounds to shed, have huge bags under my eyes and almost never get out of sweats I feel prettier now than I have for a long time because of him.
Life is also busy. There are no more breaks. One of us always has a child in or close to our arms now. The upside to this is that the bond with our children is stronger everyday and you get to see every emotion, every facial expression and hear nearly every breathe they take.
The downside to this is that even when you are peeing you usually have a child in your arms or uncomfortably close to your arms! : 0 I was showering the other day and I always leave the door cracked in case Riley needs to come in and so that I can listen for Alyssa. I opened the door to the bathroom (I was in a towel) and saw Riley 'spying' from the crack in his bedroom door at me. He came out laughing that he was "pying on you Mommy and I see your butt, it willy weirds me out."
No breaks, no privacy and un-solicited spying going on everyday!
I am currently looking at 4 more weeks of maternity leave. (How in the world did the last 8 weeks go by so fast!?) I am focusing on enjoying life moment by moment. I do not really want to go back to work but I do crave some me time once in awhile and even if it is driving alone to work at least I will get paid decent to do it!
I get to enjoy 4 more days of 2 year old school with my big boy. I thoroughly enjoy 2 year old school. It gives me a chance to appreciate Riley in a whole new light. He lights up when he enters his classroom and he can't wait to give Mrs. Penny a big hug. In fact he is kind of a teachers pet with his adoration towards Mrs Penny and Mrs Passe but there are worse things then hugs and high fives! He is very patient when he wants to play with something as always tells me proudly "Me wait for mine turn Mommy." He loves to have fun with his classmates and trips to the bathroom are especially exciting as they all take off running leaving us parent's searching for their shoes under each stall! He loves storytime and he really enjoys learning about Jesus which makes me very proud and also very impressed at his understanding of the bible stories. He might love Jesus so much because he was also a fishermen (or fisher of men) but he is still learning and that is all that we can ask for. He has learned and grown up so much this last year from school and I will really be sad when he starts real preschool this fall and walks into his classroom alone without his Mommy. I am so lucky to have been able to attend class with him for 11 weeks and I am even luckier that it is at the church we already attend, the same one that I went to preschool at.
I am so blessed to sit back and watch my Riley entertain and love on his sister. He is a great helper and never hesitates to lend a hand when we ask. He calls her his little honey and he loves to hug her, hold her and talk to her. I know that sometimes an older sibling can get a little bit aggressive towards a new baby in the house and I have heard of them sometimes hitting, pinching, yelling at or pushing the new baby but Riley is so patient and has never laid a finger on her in anger or disappointment. In fact he doesn't even seem to hear her when she is crying. If she is screaming in the car he is just looking out his window and singing softly to himself as if nothing is going on. Occasionally he does notice her cries and he tries very diligently to get her to stop. She in turn lights up when she recognizes him and rewards him with coos, smiles and most recently the beginnings of laughter. She is such a lucky girl and together they make me mushy with love and happiness.
Riley almost never is silent and by the end of the day D and I look at eachother and just laugh at how fast our little motormouth is speaking. Every sentence comes out with enthusiasm and he says the darndest things. It's utterly amazing what he picks up on and can repeat at the perfect moments. D was dressing him the other day and he looked up at his Daddy and said "You the best Daddy." When he hits a 'homerun' he shouts out "boomshackalacka", and when I ask him to help clean up he will "course I help Mommy but me not weal happy about it." I try really hard not to laugh but he is too funny.
We are so blessed because our children are so loved by our family. Kyle has come over to watch Lyssa for me while Riley and I run around and since he still lives with my parents we see him 2-3 times a week usually. Katie stops over nearly every Monday to visit with the kids and we see both Ben and her at least once a week. Nana and Papa stop over for quick visits when they are running around, Papa calls to talk to Riley once or twice a week and Nana makes us dinner 1-2 times a week so we see them alot. Riley will ask about Katie, Ben, Kyle, Papa and Nana when he hasn't seen them in a few days and he loves to talk on the phone to them and insists I call them back if I hung up before he got a chance to say hi. It is so convenient that we all live within 3 miles of eachother and with 2 children in tow family and the help that they offer has been priceless. He also loves to talk to his up north Nana and he asks lots of questions about where she is, what she is doing and when he will see her. He is also starting to ask lots of questions about his up north Papa and we are really at a loss on what to tell him. We show him lots of pictures of his Papa T and he knows that he doesn't ever see him but I have been scared to tell him about death and dying so for now we are just letting those questions slide but we are so lucky to have so many pictures of Riley with his Papa T and I am so thankful for them because when Riley looks at them he beams with pride. We are also so lucky to have brought Alyssa home from the hospital on Feb 11th, one year exactly from the death of Bob. It really helped Derrick to have her in his arms and I think it was a great tribute to Bob and a dear reminder that when God takes away he keeps you close and reminds you of his love. We were shocked that Alyssa was being so stubborn about delivery but when we realized the date we wondered if she was going to wait until Feb 11th as a special reminder that Papa Bob was looking over us. I am sure babies see angels and when Lyssa looks over me and smiles up at the ceiling I can guarantee with everything in me that she is smiling at her Papa in heaven and it has brought salty tears to my cheeks as she coos and smiles into the face of the angel I can't see.
Currently my sweet little babe is sick, miserably sick and we (Lyssa Lu and Me) spent nearly the whole night cuddling and watching TV because she can hardly breathe, is coughing up phlegm and is feverish. It is heartbreaking and D hated going to bed seeing how sick she was. I was absolutely exhausted but eventually morning came and life started coming back into her eyes. She gave us a few smiles and we are moving forward one Kleenex at a time. This sick little babe is getting baptized on Sunday and I cannot wait to get her into my baptism gown and give her a new life in Faith.
We are blessed, busy but immeasurably blessed. I could not live without my busy babies and I am forever changed by them.
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