The 3 T's of adjustment

1. Tears.
Lots of huge crocodile tears.  Riley is on such an emotional rollercoaster right now that the littlest things will turn him into a teary mess.  Poor boy hasn't cried so much since...well he has just never cried this much.  I think he feels like his whole world is upside down and the only way to make it better is to cry and try and figure out his new existence.
2. Time outs.
Riley has spent more time in the time out zone then he ever has before.  The boy is lashing out for attention by throwing his milk cup at me or whipping a pacifier across the room or by just not listening.  I have never seen him act like this and he just will not stop doing something if we ask him to so he ends up spending more time in the corner of the hallway then he probably does not spending time in the hallway.  He actually threw a cookie on the floor in the middle of what I thought was a perfectly nice dinner so he went right to time out and then started crying there.  When I came to him and wanted to talk it out he just wrapped his little arms around my neck and cried "miss you mommy, me miss much."  Just broke my heart.  How can we help him!?  My sweet son is on vacation most of the time and we cannot wait for him to show back up again.
3. Trances.
We call his silent treatment towards us trance time.  He will literally clam up and stare off to one side of you and not utter a word for an amazing amount of time.  This usually results in a time out because we don't know what else to do with him.  On discharge day at the hospital he wanted our attention but D was busy with Alyssa and I was talking to the nurse and when we finally turned around he was gone.  He had gone in the bathroom and was sitting in the empty tub all by himself.  He wouldn't talk to us and he wanted no hugs.  We don't know what to do with him.  Is it better to acknowledge his silence and let him ride it out or send him for some quiet time until he is willing to talk about it?  The silent treatment is an absolute button pusher for me.  I just have zero patience for it and cannot wait to ask his Dr tomorrow what the best way to handle it might be at Alyssa's appt.

It is heartbreaking to watch him struggle and not resemble the real Riley at all.  Derrick took him out to Target over the weekend and he seemed revived when he got back after spending some alone time with his Daddy so I took him to Target last night to pick out a special gift and we spent over an hour walking up and down every aisle.  We held hands while he insisted we go down the vitamin aisle, the feminine aisle, the produce aisle, the endless grocery aisles and I kid you not we walked down every aisle.  I wonder if he knew that by walking every aisle he was getting to spend more time with Mommy?  We did pick out him some fun stuff like big boy underwear with footballs on them because this boy is rocking the potty training stuff.  In the middle of playing on Sunday we found him running down the hallway and he was already taking off his pants and unders to pee before D could get to him.  He is doing awesome at it and seems very proud that Alyssa needs diapers but he doesn't so we go way over the top with praise and joy over every drop of pee pee and every little turd that finds its way into the toilet.  He also got a playdough puppy set that we played with for over an hour today.  To find anything other than fishing and hunting gear that keeps his attention is nothing short of a miracle so that was exciting!

I have noticed everyday him getting better and better though.  He was super excited when Alyssa woke up this morning and he helped me change her diaper and then he even helped me give her a quick sink bath.  We are going to make cookies this afternoon and I am really looking forward to him spending some alone time with his G'ma and G'pa this weekend.  I think the huge change in routine is wearing on him also because yesterday after G'ma Hutch left he awoke from his nap asking for her and begging me to take him to her.  It was really sweet.

The good news is that Derrick is his rock right now.  He is lucky to have such a hands on and wonderful Daddy that is so very patient and loving with him even when it's nearly impossible to do so.  I am so happy to see those 2 together and have a little bit of jealousy as he used to love me so much and doesn't seem to anymore.  I still get my bedtime hug and kiss though as we say prayers and 50% of the time he asks me to lay with him like he used too but it's pretty hit or miss.  I always scratch his little back and we whisper to each other before we shut the door on the day but lately he doesn't want any of it and he asks me to leave.

This is certainly a work in progress and I would welcome any suggestions from anyone regarding the huge transition this is for a child.  Also say a prayer for our patience and understanding since as the day wears on we have less and less of it.

Hopefully our fun loving, smiley Riley will be back shortly!!!