Three times the fun now added!









Saturday, August 4, 2012

The Deuce

I will always remember going to pick Deuce up from a small town down in Southern MN.  We drove D's old Beretta and I had just had surgery to remove cysts from my chest.  The big Mama jumped up on me and caused a few of my stitched up wounds to ache and bleed.  There were puppies running around everywhere and one in particular kept eating every apple it could grab from the surrounding apple trees, he was our dog.  He was one of the smallest and he was adorably clumsy.  We paid for him and giddily hopped back into the car.  Poor little guy hid his head in D's lap and wouldn't come out or look up for anything.  When we brought him into the house he hid behind the couch and wouldn't come out.  He was devastated to be ripped away from his family and it broke our hearts.  We cuddled him, carried him and loved on him until he retreated back to his hiding spot.  Eventually he started trusting us and soon he was chewing on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  Our chairs took a beating, our shoes didn't survive, even the carpet was no match for this dog.  He managed to destroy everything in a matter of weeks.  We resorted to giving him milk cartons and plastic bottles because he was going through chew toys in a matter of hours.  Luckily the house was still a bachelor pad and the guys couldn't really care less.

Derrick worked with him and he trained really easily.  We taught him to stay in the kitchen and TV room and he never crossed the threshold that was the living room.  He ran after the dummy and retrieved it every time with excitement.  He was a good dog, kind of a first "baby" for the group and he got lots of attention and love.

Eventually the guys moved out and I moved in.  With me joining house the rules relaxed a bit.  He joined us in the living room and finally moved up to the couches.  He laid on us and watched tv.  He lounged while we were at work.  He had the good life.

From what I hear he was an excellent hunter.  Pheasant hunting was his favorite.  D said he moved in front of him perfectly and would get the birds up and then retrieve like an old pro.  He always came home so exhausted after those long South Dakota weekends and for a good 2 days he would do nothing but lay down too tired to even get up and go outside to pee.

He was a good listener but we had plenty of adventures with him.  One time after duck hunting we let him outside only to come back out for him and find an empty yard.  We had a shock fence but occasionally he would run full speed through it.  Finally, after driving around calling his name we found him at the park a few long blocks away down by the pond watching the geese and ducks intently.  Every time we took him to the vet was an adventure.  He actually squeezed through the partially open back window and ran while we were at a stoplight on Foley Blvd just minutes from the vets office.

He was a horrible walker.  Because of the pheasant training Deuce was used to walking way ahead of the guys and a collar just never worked out well.  He would pull and pant until he was choking himself out and by the time we made it home we were all exhausted.  He hated the rain.  He always hid himself away in one of the bedrooms or even the bathtub and was a hot shaking mess of fur when we would pull him out.  As he got older he was even scared of the dark clouds.  He could definitely sense a storm brewing and took cover earlier and earlier every time.

One time I while D was away after hunting he got so sick he couldn't even walk.  I had to drag him outside and eventually ask our neighbor for help loading him into the car.  He hadn't eaten anything and he looked horribly sick.  The vet took blood and diagnosed him with Lyme's disease.  I boiled hamburger for him and we had to shove huge, expensive, pills down his throat to help with the muscle pain and fatigue.  He was better after a few weeks but to say I was tired of boiling hamburger was an understatement.

When Riley came around Deuce watched over him as an infant.  They would take long naps together and many times Deuce would be in Riley's room sleeping by the crib.  It always irritated us because the jingling of his collar would wake the sleeping Riley and new parents did not want to have the sleeping baby awoken.  When Riley started sitting up Deuce was always by his side and they exchanged many kisses and hugs.  Riley followed Deuce around and Deuce never batted an eye as Riley tugged on him, pulled his hair or jumped on his back while he was sleeping.  He was such a good boy to our boy.

The burden of a dog with children hit me hard.  I can honestly say I didn't like Deuce much after Riley came and the constant licking from Deuce to Riley just drove me mad.  It should be noted that if Riley wasn't our first I wouldn't have cared.  Isn't it amazing how much the 2nd child calms you down!?  Riley was always covered in black hair and it bothered me immensely.  Finally Alyssa came into the picture and she didn't bond as strongly with Deuce but he was a fierce guardian to her.  He would sneak in her room at night and sleep by her crib when it was storming out.  We had learned to take off his collar and appreciated the gesture at that point but the dog hair still was an annoyance.  I was tired from taking care of two kids and the last thing I wanted to do at night was to pet him.  He was getting too old and tired to hunt anymore and walks were a thing of the past as a double stroller was more than enough to handle for me.

Finally in December 2011 right before we left for Vegas Deuce started throwing up.  He threw up everything he ate.  It had been going on for a few weeks so D took him to the vet.  They couldn't really see anything on x-ray except fluid and instead of sending the fluid out for testing we took him home with big, huge, expensive pills that stopped the vomiting for a few days but eventually we just started recognizing the signs of his impending pukes and would hurry him outside.  When spring sprouted we thought that it had gotten better, maybe even he was on the road to recovery.  We went outside to check for puke piles after the snow melted and they were literally everywhere.  You couldn't walk more than a few steps without running into another one.  By May he was down to skin and bones.  He had been back to the vet but we knew there was nothing else short of thousands of dollars of treatment they could do for him.  He stopped eating altogether and was puking up pure bile.  We finally came to the decision that it was time to put him down.  It was not an easy decision and the whole week leading up to July 7th we could hardly sleep.  We had been slowly but surely preparing Riley for Deuce dying and finally Riley had stopped praying for Deuce to get better and started praying for Deuce to be comfortable.

My parents took Riley to a trout farm for his birthday that Friday and we drove Deuce to the Humane Society in Golden Valley.  I think if I would have told D to turn the truck around he would have but we didn't.  We walked in, paid and waited.  She came back in and took our dog.  He walked out of that room and took all the air with him. I think if Alyssa wouldn't have been with us I would have gotten sick.  After what felt like hours she came back to get us so we could say our final goodbye.  D went first cause we didn't want Alyssa to see Deuce like that.  I went second.  I just lost it in that room.  I couldn't feel my legs, I couldn't stop my tears and my heart just literally broke in half.  We will never erase that moment of Deuce from our memories.  He looked like he was sleeping, he was still warm but his tongue was hanging out.  It was surreal and it was the most horrible thing we have ever had to decide to do and I am quite positive we will never make that decision again.

We cried the whole way home, picked up Riley and sadly told him that Deuce had died while he was gone.  He was such a rock that night.  He hugged us and told us that we would see Deuce in heaven again.  I went to bed at 5:30 and just cried and cried and cried.  We have never felt so guilty in our lives.  It is too weird being in our house without Deuce.

After a week or so I stopped crying every time I walked in the house expecting to see Deuce wagging his tail at me begging for attention.  Riley woke up only once crying in the middle of the night saying how much he missed his Deuce.  Exactly a week after saying goodbye to Deuce we walked in the house and Riley called out "Deuce, Deuce,  oh wait, my Deuce is dead."  We both cried together and went to the computer to look at the pictures of our Deuce.

It's taken me a long time to write Deuce's story.  He would have been 11 this week.  He has taught me that I should have been more attentive and appreciative of him in the last 3 years.  He has taught me that having to vacuum everyday is a small price to pay for a dog as good as he was.  It should also be noted that we still have to vacuum everyday, now we have no dog to clean up after the kids dropped food and snacks.

We are dog people.  The boys want another dog bad.  I just want Deuce.  It still strikes me that for all my impatience with him in the last 3 years how much I miss him to my core every time I walk in our house.  It's still so weird.  We are still so sad and we will never forget him.  Deuce, we are so sorry and if we could do it all over again we would.

There is so many pictures of Deuce with Riley that it is hard to narrow down our favorites.  I am so glad I have always been so obsessed with clicking picture after picture.




















Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It's gonna be a long hot summer...

and we should be together...

Together is exactly where we have been. 
It's been a really hot summer.  We have been perusing sprinklers nearly everyday.  Ice cream cones are eaten frequently and the ac has been on nonstop.

I have taken a computer break.  No facebook (ahh (that was a relief)), no Pinterest and obviously no blogging.  It's amazing how much of a time suck these things are.  With the age of smartphones I constantly see everyone, myself included, with that skinny technology up to their faces.  It made me realize that a break was a good thing.  Time to redirect and see exactly how much time I had.  I still use Instagram and I still play Words with my faithful friends but I have managed to finish 3 books in just 6 weeks, I have stopped checking FB but every few days (if that) and I just relax with my husband and kids kicking it in the yard or on the floor playing baseball in the house or dancing in the living room.  It's a good change.

Work has sucked alot of energy out of me recently.  3 a.m. comes all too soon when one doesn't go to bed until 10:00 or later and my days spent at work go by so fast in a busied blur that Ican't escape needing a 2 hour nap everyday. Things like dinner at my parents, walks with my sister (and children) and gin rummy with my husband make my head clear.  I can look more certainly now at what is important.  I am slowly but surely forgetting about work once I pull into my driveway and I don't dread (as much ; ) my alarm every night.

Since we last spoke we have been busy, fun busy with fieldtrip fun, birthday fun, 4th fun, anniversary fun and new words fun.  Our sweet girl says "thank you" perfectly and you can't help but "aww" after each time it comes out.  She shouts out "mommy" when she doesn't have me an arm lengths away and it is hilarious.  She puts her arms up in the air in celebration as she calls out "daddy" when he walks through the door and she says "riwey" every time brother walks into the room.  She has stolen our hearts.  She is the perfect compliment to her brother and she is just enough spice to even out all that sweet.  She loves family hugs, dances every time even a note of music is played and is the perfect little shopper.  She busies herself with pulling out every toy in the house and talking on the "phone" while doing it.  She always choses to talk to Papa and she babbles away having quite the conversation that no one really understands.  When you make her happy or merely suggest something she might like to do, go outside, go to the lake, take a walk, go shopping, she cries out "yay" and does a little celebration jig.  I crave holding her.  She is a lover.  I could seriously take her everywhere with me.

Riley turned 4!  Four years old is big.  He's such a little grown up now.  He talks patiently (most of the time) to his sister and tries to help her out.  He gets to stay up "late" with us when he takes a nap and we enjoy that time with him so much.  He continues to busy himself with "boating" and fishing around the house.  Costco size diaper boxes are all the rage in our house and can entertain Riley for hours.  He still plays with every.single.lure he has ever been given and show and tell tackle box edition still contintues nearly everyday.  4 years old and such an avid fisherman already. This boy gets to go fishing with Daddy and his uncles nearly every weekend. He continues to play with every lure and fishing.  He has such a good heart, has been loving VBS and summer school in the last few weeks and had a fabulous birthday week complete with a special trip with Nana and Papa to a trout farm.  He is such a lucky boy and we love him something fierce.

Speaking of love and family, you know you don't get out much sans children when your nearly 4 year old son gets worried about why he can't go out on your "date" with you.  Up north Nana came down to watch the kids so we could get out for even just a few hours and all day leading up to our quickie excursion Riley kept asking "why can't I go, I will be good, why is it for adults only?"  Poor kid really is used to doing EVERYTHING with us.  Must be rough!?  : )  We did get out alone to see a movie (Avengers=Awesome) and D was really happy that my constant adoration of the bacon popcorn wasn't all hype!  YUMMO!  If that wasn't enough for us we also enjoyed a quiet dinner and a stroll, holding hands and talking about our time together thus far.  7 years of marriage and 11 total years together goes by incredibly fast.  Marriage is still so easy with my D.  Even my Auntie's have to comment to him how "good" he is at fatherhood, husbandhood.  #iamaluckywomanandiknowit.

Mini-D, she cracks us up!

Worm dig at Springbrook to feed the fish in the tanks, this boy was in heaven.


Little net + pond + Riley =One fine day.

HOT 4th, outside play was short and sweet.

Does he look like a turtle here?

Peanut in her jazzercise outfit.

Sister is done. 




I will sign off with a "hope to see you soon" and here's to writing regularly for the sake of memories and keepsakes, oh and a picture of our boy with his indoor "boat".  For the love of fishing.




Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Paper Mama: Mayvorite

My favorite from May is undoubtedly the below image.  It evokes an emotion in me everytime I see it.  That's what it is all about, right?, feeling, connecting, reliving.  Thank you Paper Mama for hosting!
http://thepapermama.com/2012/06/the-paper-mama-fave-photo-challenge-a-prize.html


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Memorial Day: Remember, Relive

Memorial weekend is usually filled to the brims with picnics, sprinklers and racing around to fit everything in.  This weekend was slower this year with the inclement weather and we took full advantage of slowing down a bit and taking things one day at a time.

I had Friday off and we enjoyed a long, slow stroll through the park.  Alyssa is happy to practice walking and Riley only has one speed, RUN, so we took off sans stroller and just strutted along all the while Riley was leapfrogging ahead of us running til I said stop and waiting for us to catch up.

We met pretty little girls at the park and they all enjoyed getting out for a bit after the rainy week.  My girlfriend Becky has been a friend for a long time and it's so fun to see her navigating life with 2 little ones now.  I remember those days so perfectly and now I can look back happily cause it's just a little easier now.  We enjoyed a quick lunch on the way home and all took a solid nap which just makes my day all the sweeter.  I lourve a good nap.

Saturday was rainy and Daddy had to work so caribou had to be delivered as he swung by on his way home.  It was yummy.  Have I mentioned that I am slightly obsessed with vanilla white chocolate mocha's?  I could seriously drink one everyday and I am going to switch over to grownup coffee soon but until then I could seriously drink vanilla whites everyday.

Alyssa was picked up, how's that for a babysitting service (!?) so we could take our big boy to the omni-theatre.  Us and about 500 people had the same idea so after standing in line for tickets for 30 minutes we promptly treated ourselves to ice cream cones for a job well done.  Under the Sea was good and perfectly fitting since Riley is really obsessed with cuttlefish.  Something we had never heard of before but are in his National Geographic animal book.  We read it everyday and he always asks what a cuttlefish is and I can only tell him the short paragraph under the weird picture.  Anyways, this movie was all about cuttlefish, so perfect!  It was loud though and he thought we were moving which panicked him a little but we all really enjoyed it and it was a nice way to spend a rainy afternoon.

Sunday was all about the obligatory memorial weekend early morning fishing trip and then a picnic at Elm Creek.  Holy hot, holy people, holy thank goodness for water and food and the best two Nana's around.  You know Riley loves you when he is given the choice to keep fishing or come in to see you...Owie, Riley really loves you!  In fact the early morning wake-up call, the hot day and all the running around had our boy so tired he put himself to bed at 7:20.  He walked over to us and said "I am very tired, I am just going to go to bed, I love you mommy and daddy but I am too tired to brush mine teeth."  Alyssa followed right behind him and 30 minutes later it was still quiet and we knew it wasn't a joke!  We stayed up super later for us 11:15 and watched We Bought a Zoo.  Ack, I love this movie.  Warm fuzzies, trickling out all over this one!

photo cred goes to Annie!  
For Memorial day this year I really wanted to take the time out to really appreciate the meaning of the day other than just the "start of summer".  I have been wanting to head down to the Fort Snelling Cemetery to see the graves of my grandparents and I figured my parents would too.  We made a day of it of course swinging into Caribou to red, white and bou bogo and then preceding down to Historic Fort Snelling first.  Wow, incredible fun hearing the history of our early state and how they lived.  So fun going in and out of the buildings getting a feel for life way back when.  Riley loved every minute of it.  He was such a trooper, never complaining and commenting numerous times about the "beautiful view" we had at various stops.  My kid loves him a gorgeous view!















We walked over to the Fort Snelling Non-denominational Chapel and really enjoyed the beautiful historic chapel that once had prisoners of war sitting in the upper balcony as they too were required to attend worship every week.  It was beautiful and the Chaplain was actually there to point out all of the memorials donated around the sanctuary and the significance of everything around us.  Outside the chapel were huge white crosses to signify every war the US has been in and it simply stated the war and the number of casualties.  Talk about knock the wind right out of your lungs.  American Civil War over 600,000 American lives lost, WWII over 400,000 American lives lost.  War on Terror which is what I have grown up knowing, seeing just over 6,000.  Then in the Chapel garden they had the candle lit for the Unknown soldier and smaller crosses to signify the combat deaths of the family members who attend the chapel just during the War on Terror.  It was chilling.  You could feel the heaviness of loss in the air and when you started to read the names on the crosses and the cities they came from, most from cities I drive through everyday, and then saw their age...it was heartbreaking.  I walked a very fine line when Riley solemnly asked "you mean they didn't die cause they were old?"  It was easy to not soak in completely what we were surrounded by when you are switching off holding the hand of you 3 year old and your camera but today looking back at the pics I am struck by the sadness of bloodshed and lives lost.  Of the families that have but pictures and memories to go on with.







We proceeded to drive to the cemetery and it was pretty packed.  Perfect uniformity.  Solid pride and unbelievable sadness as you walk by the graves of the brave, some losing their lives in the heat of battle, some living with the memories of the battles as they came back home to live until their death.  I really love how they buried my Schaber grandparents right on top of each other.  It is oddly comforting to know they are close.  My Hutchie grandparents are right next to each other and maybe it's because the Hutchies are very sensitive or maybe it's because my Dad was touched so deeply by seeing his parents but that was the more difficult "hello, it's been a long time" for me.  Riley stood out walking among the white graves in his red, white and blue and they may not be technically the best pictures but these are my favorite and I can look at these and easily start weeping today.




Papa was having a hard time, Riley to the rescue

This picture moves me to tears.  How lucky they are to have each other.












Yesterday was so meaningful.  All I wanted to do was show my boy that there is a price we pay for getting to live our lives as we know it.  I wanted to teach him a little bit about courage and honor, sacrifice and pride.  He doesn't totally get it yet but he was touched down deep in his heart by the endless graves and pictures of those lost.

I remember your sacrifice.  I live my life not always grateful but yesterday reminded me of you and the price you paid for my freedom.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart and these pictures will haunt me and at the same time remind me that you stood up for us and helped secure our freedom.  It can be very scary times we live in these days.  The War on Terror has left us all wondering what will happen next.  How quickly the images and stories can become monotonous and thrown away like yesterdays news.  How very special that our nation gives us a day to honor and thank those who have laid down their lives.  Chills people, chills.

I love you Mom and Dad and had fun just sitting in the back, along for the ride.  I love you little man for your curiosity, your sensitive heart and your playfulness.  I love you D and Alyssa Lu for coming home to two big smiles and lots of hugs.  I love and miss you my grandparents who I have been thinking about non-stop since our visit.  I love this country and I love democracy.  Enough love for one night?  I think that about covers it.