Has it really been since November that I published a post?!  I am a focused woman, focused on everything house and family.  It's been a busy, blurry month and I looked at the calendar today and realized that I am going to have a 2 year old soon!  Eek, why does that sneak up on you so fast!?

I am super excited with a new job position in Champlin (10 miles to work now!) and loving every second of every work day which is a huge blessing and something I have earnestly prayed for over the last year.

My Mom is back to doing daycare and we are loving having some normalcy/routine back in our everyday lives.

The kids have easily accepted our new home and transitioned so easily into their rooms and our new home life.  It is yet another blessing to be here and call this home.  I am still enjoying the newness of our surroundings and the cleaning is still a joy but check back on that one with me in a year!  This is alot of house to clean but it's been pretty manageable and we take it bit by bit everyday.  Who is the we?  Alyssa has entered the "I do it" stage and is my shadow.  Riley is proficient in folding towels now and they actually have been really helpful and conducive to cleaning up the toys at the end of the day.

I have spent two nights alone in this house and both nights I didn't sleep a wink.  Just too many entrances to entertain a crazy sleep deprived mind!  Our old house was so tiny, er humble and I was close to my neighbors.  Here I don't know anyones name and I don't know the noises of the house yet so I kept my eyes open and alert all night.  My brother helped alot when he texted that all I had to fear was the deer.

Indeed we have seen our share of deer.  I believe Riley has the count up to 11.  The best spotting was just a few days ago when right before dinner 3 of them started chasing eachother around like dogs.  They are so fast and they played a long game of tag right in our backyard before they took off and weren't seen again until late that night when I was driving home from Bible study with Alyssa.  I rolled down her window and she waved to the deer standing in the road looking at her.  It was crazy how calm and serene they were standing up next to a Tahoe and I cannot wait to explore our "wild" backyard more this Spring!

We are battling some colds right now and gearing up for some painting this weekend so I will be tied up again until the middle of Feb...or the next time I feel like journaling a bit.

We are signing up our baby for school next week to start in the Fall and I am a bit weepy over it but she is ready and so excited!  She is so darn lovable and kissable it's unbelievable.  Such a sweetheart indeed.

I will leave you with just a few pictures cause what's a post without pictures?!

He looks like me but I don't sleep looking that pretty, those lashes, those lips, those little fingers folded up in prayer!

She is a hot mess of nukie love, it is going to be a struggle to get them away from her but already she is down to only getting them in her crib so baby steps it is!

Hunting partners in their "lodge" our fireplace nook!  

Home is where the heart is

Our hearts are getting packed up and ready to fill a new home with love and laughter.

After 11.5 years in our humble home we decided on a whim to put her up for sale and in just 6 days we had an offer.  We accepted the offer and with it we started looking at houses rather frantically for fear of being homeless.

The first one we walked into was our house.  I could see us playing in the large yard, mowing the plush grass, chasing eachother around the house and "hunting" in the oasis of the open field beyond our one acre where we had earlier seen two deer.  I pictured our Christmas tree up and lit, our dinners, cozy and quaint around a refurbished thrifted table.  I saw our kids wildly excited to hide in the house and have us seek them out.  I saw pj's on, sitting near the fireplace, reading books and snuggling.  I saw myself looking out the big, beautiful windows smiling while watching my husband out the window grilling on our deck.  I saw rocking chairs on the porch as we toasted a successful summer night and watched the stars come out.  I saw our future.  I saw our children's future as they grew.  I saw the next 30-40 years of our lives and it was wonderful.

We continued to look at 3 more houses and then stopped off at my parents to collect our kids before heading out for 2 more but my heart tugged at me and I knew my parents had to see our "deer" house.  We quickly changed courses and set out once more to see the house.  They loved it.  They approved and shared in our dreams.  I knew it was meant to be but we could only be sure if everything fell according to plan.

Everything slowly but surely fell into place and now we wait for the financing to be approved and we try to be patient.

It's hard to say how fast the last 30 days has gone.  We left for Vegas with it sitting in the back of our heads and returned home to say "why not?".  We finally fixed and de-cluttered things around our house that we had only dreamed of doing for years but never really felt the need to do.  Oh complacency, where are you now?  (My lazy susan's are not so lazy anymore and we need not stare at the food in them any longer.)

We signed and signed and signed paperwork and now we are just a few short weeks away from saying forever goodbye to 11927 Woodbine St, NW, respectively.

Just a few short days away from falling in love with our deer house I was offered a chance to transfer to our new Champlin clinic in an epic re-organization plan that will make our clinics "hubs" for the nursing homes closest to them.  I would be the coordinator for Champlin and have a handful or so of coworkers under me waiting for assignments.  It all has just come together too perfectly almost.  Moving 15 minutes away from where we are now would have easily added another 20 minutes to my already 30 minutes commute.  This will bring my commute down to 15-20 minutes and save on gas tremendously.

My heart is ready and at the same time heavy.  The first night I met D we ended up coming back to his place and as he sat on the counter talking amongst friends I knew I would need that man in my life.  A few nights later we sat in our now playroom and watched MTV while talking all night until the sun nearly came up. I fell in love in this house.  We brought Deucer home to this house and he helped us demo much of what it is today from the 70's yellow/orange carpeting he helped rip up with his teething.
Deuce's entire life was in this house and for that reason alone we are sad to say goodbye.  Add to that the fact that we brought our first baby into this house and then our second baby and my heart nearly breaks as I think of someone else turning their rooms into an office.

Yes, this house holds many, many memories.  Too many to recall for you but it is too small and we knew this day was coming for a long time.  In fact, we have been on a 5 year arm for about 9 years now, thank you very much low, low, low interest rates!

The bathroom begs for mercy when we all pile in there for the kids' bathtime.  Our bedroom is just that, where we sleep and no room for anything else.  Our yard is a pitiful excuse for grass (CR is known for notorious sand grass and we were no different).  Our kitchen currently lends itself to washing clothes and frying up bacon at the same time.  Our one car garage hasn't seen a car for years since the kids bikes and toys go into lockdown every night.  She is small, she is old, she has been our home.

I cannot quite wrap my mind around owning stairs.  I grew up with them and took them for granted.  The stairs just intrigue me.  One level living is convenient and all but we are going to own stairs soon.  We will have 3 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, two living rooms, a fireplace, a bar in the basement and room to fill up every crevice and hiding spot with memories.  Yes, we will be those new home owners who are in awe of everything we have lived without for years.  It will indeed be 365 days of thanksgiving and praise for years to come.  It will be moving in with what we have and slowly but again surely filling up the place with our own signature.  It will be time consuming and budgeting to get to where I see us in the next 15 years.  It will be trial and error at what furniture would be best and if that plaid wallpaper should come down today or yesterday.  It will be so fun and so rewarding and so darn exciting because we will do it together, as a family.

My sweet, tender hearted boy has voiced over and over again that he doesn't want to move.  Sure he loves the deer house but he is insistent that he loves our house and his room.  He wants to take the walls with him and I understand, our hearts beat the same.  It will be uncomfortable for our kids the first few weeks understanding and adjusting their point of view to our new surroundings.  It will be hard to say goodbye and there will be tears, probably lots and lots of tears but tears that are happy and sad all at the same time.  It will be hectic and stressful moving in December days before Christmas but I have a feeling that those will be the memories that will stick with us forever, like "remember when we moved and Mom was deadset on putting up the tree first thing but Dad wanted help with the important stuff only to have Mom set up that tree and when we awoke a few days later Santa had found our new house and filled it up with toys?"  Only Daddy agrees the tree and the beds will be first and foremost and the rest will follow as it may.  : )

This is a good dream.  The kind of nesting I have never done before.  I constantly feel the energy of change these days and after seeing our "dear, deer" house again this morning and getting the stamp of approval from Uncle Kevin, house owner times 5 and cabin builder extraordinaire, I feel confident that the first house we looked at is our home.  It should be noted that 5 deer scurried across the backyard as we stood in the living room...Riley is going to love this house!


I am still being cautiously optimistic, we still have some headaches to get through but this dream is getting closer and closer and it is going to be an incredible December indeed!

It's been real 11927 but 9101 here we come!

The MLS number to our future is # 4312596.

The great pumpkin fail

My mind has been running a thousand and one miles an hour for the past few weeks.  My next post will certainly be written with all my heart but this one has been in the works for weeks so for now, lighthearted fall fun.

Not exactly the fall I had envisioned.  The weather has been cold, bitter even at times.  We've had more rain this fall then I remember getting all summer so with that said we didn't go out and do everything I had wanted but we managed to make the best of what we did and here's just a few of the highlights.

1. Fall leaf hunts.  We did this multiple times but our favorite was when Daddy came and the colors were at there best.  We walked along the skinny deer trails and some of my absolute favorite pictures came out of this "hunt".  We gathered up all kinds of leaves and when we got home Riley sorted first by color then by size.  Great and easy little lesson and one you can only do for a short time here in MN!

2. Trunk or treating.  Church always does the best trunk or treating and this year was especially fun since the times changed a bit so it wasn't in the dark.  Riley wasn't nearly as scared as he was in the dark the last few years and our little Lu even dressed up and came along.  She didn't really understand not eating everything as she got it but eventually we persuaded her to keep moving along.  Our faves include yet again the glow sticks...nothing betta than a glow stick for Moms and kids!  No sugar but all the fun!

3.  The farm.  Oh we love this farm.  It's so serene and peaceful.  The peacocks and a few pigs, goats and chickens just roam around and the pumpkins are always in perfect display patterns with varying colors from orange, white, green and yellow.  We enjoyed the peaceful hay ride and we stalked the peacocks pleading with them to spread their tail feathers.  It didn't happen but we did take two of those pretty feathers home with us!

4.  Trick or treating.  Riley was all ready to go this year.  He was the seasoned pro to Alyssa's fumbling always a few steps behind.  The kids did great and in the 10-15 houses we hit we have more than enough candy to carry us well into 2013!  Eek, 2013!  The weather was mild and we made it home by 7:15 so we could pass out candy too!  It was kind of cute when we decided to dress up Alyssa as a chicken for warmth and debated about having her use her Toto basket.  Riley suggested putting her kitchen eggs in the basket since she was a chicken and we went with it.  Later on FB someone hilariously pointed out whether or not there was a CR shortage on halloween buckets.  Haha, a little redneck trick or treating with a target bag and an Easter style basket! ; )

5.  Snuggles, lots and lots of snuggles since I haven't worked a full week for the past 3 weeks we have been enjoying eachother, a lot!

What happened to my baby boy?  And this was last years school picture!  

Both kids surprised me in bed at 5 a.m. and started fighting about touching eachother, I came back from the bathroom and discovered this.  They decided holding hands would solve the problem.  So much for a california king being big enough for 2 littles and a mama smooshed against the edge!  

It was a great fall but with us being gone for the Light up the Night parade and then missing the Grand Day parade (Anoka is the halloween capitol! ; ) I feel a bit disappointed in our activity check list but we made the best of it and I think our kids will be happy to look back and see a few pictures of 2012.

Life as of late

Life, sweet, exhausting, never a dull moment.  I have so many thoughts swirling around in my brain that I don't really know where to start.

We've been good.  Real good.

We have been celebrating my birthday for a week straight now and tomorrow shall be the culmination into 30.  Oh dear, 30.  I'm not scared or sad, just a little awestruck.  My 20's were pretty magical.  I fell deeply in love with my D, was engaged the night before my 21st, got married at 22, had a baby at 25, another one at 28 and now I look back and just see love.  Tonight I am wearing glasses that only see the good.  The last 10 years have been a whirlwind.  The next 10 will be a whirlwind.

I remember feeling so young when I had Riley like I had no business having a baby let alone walking him out of the hospital and taking him home with me.  That's the amazing thing about children.  They can make you feel impossibly small and huge at any given moment.  It never will be about just me and my wants, it will always be about what is best for our family and this is not only easy to swallow but a pill I have wanted to swallow since I was a young girl.

I have everything I have ever wanted.  My family is close.  My children are loved.  I have a boy and a girl.  One the spitting image of me, the other a spitting image of my husband.  We have jobs, a house, two vehicles and food in the fridge.  I feel so content.

Friday my parents had to put down Tuckie.  He would have been 12 in December and it was alot harder on me than I expected.  My kids loved him and it reminded us of Deuce.  So we spent the evening drinking down marg's at our favorite Mexican joint with my parents and we laughed, ate and were generally merry.  Saturday we started packing things up, organizing, cleaning, purging everything out.  Our house will be up on the market soon and just the thought of leaving this house broke my heart.  I have spent the last 10  years in the house.  Both of our children were brought home to this house.  It's not a huge house but it has huge pieces of our lives and hearts in it.  Maybe it won't sell, maybe it will.  The journey will be interesting but whatever happens, well just happens.  I have zero expectations but you have to start somewhere.

My needs did matter alot this last week.  It was odd and felt a little out of order and selfish but I was able to pretty much do whatever I wanted for the most part.  We jet-setted to Vegas and enjoyed 82 degree weather, quiet hotel quarters, lots of adult conversation over dinners and coffee at whatever hour I wanted.  It was pretty chill.  We partied like we were rockstars, took in a Cirque show (The Reve, WOW),  walked and walked and walked and finally came home to a dreary MN day.  My heart felt right, it felt at peace, our kids, our own little house with all the little quirks you would expect from a 60 year old house were together and it was just right.  I took an extra day off to spend with my little ones and we drank eachother up.  Lyssi didn't stop smiling once all day.  She kept touching my face all gently and repeating, "my mommy, my mommy."  Riley was his usual ball of high energy and he once again beat me in our nightly Sorry game.  I went back to work and my new hours 6 to 2:30 were a breeze added to the fact that 2 day work weeks are a piece of cake.  We pulled the trigger on going out again to celebrate more birthdays coupled with mine Saturday, regrettably dropped off our children again and partied once more like rockstars.  We slept late on Sunday and here I am.  Dreaming about how much fun the next three PTO days will be.  Thinking about what is in hold for me over the next 10 years.

My life is reigning in the wild "all boy" and soaking up the thoughtfulness and gentle touch of our baby girl.  It's a good balance and to look into the future seems futile.  I can't bring myself to imagine Riley or Alyssa any differently than they are today.  I had my selfish week and now I am excited as all get-up about our family together on Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas .  This year is going to be epic.  Thirty makes me feel certifiably adult.  I feel like I am going to take this year by the reigns.  This last week has reminded me how important one on one time with my husband is.  No more, we do absolutely everything, everyday, every weekend with our kids.  We will carve out snippets of time for us.  Adult conversation about unimportant things that make us laugh.

I hope my 30's will be less about comparisons and more about what genuinely and authentically makes me happy.  I hope to be less hard on myself and learn to look past my really negative self-image.  D has pointed out to me how very hard I am on myself and I started noted how many times I criticize the way I look or feel.  It's a bad example for our children and I hope to learn in my 30's that it doesn't really matter.  I hope to take a compliment and not immediately reject it.  I hope to sing at the top of my lungs in church when a song moves me and throw my palms up to the ceiling because up to now, I haven't had the guts.  I hope to be silly and embrace myself at any given moment.  I hope the melasma around my eyes won't make me cringe to the point of avoiding looking in any mirrors all day long.  I hope I take a healthier approach to working out that doesn't include the guilt I throw on myself for missing one day.  I hope to eat the good chocolate when I need it and I vouch to shop for myself once in awhile cause the feel and fit of new jeans is incredible! I hope to pull out my big camera more for the everyday moments.  I hope to pull out the camcorder more so we can remember that Riley can't pronounce certain letters and has the cutest little voice still and that Alyssa is a little dictionary of knowledge pronouncing and speaking full sentences at her tender age.  I want to hug my children everyday and make them look me in the eye when I tell them how much I love them.  I want them to feel my attention and love.  I want to be more vocal with my love for my family.  I want to tell my parents more often how much I love them.  How important they are to me and how very, deeply, grateful I am for everything they do for us.  I want to tell my sister more often how funny she is and how much I miss her when I don't see her for a few days.  I want to tell my brother more often that he is the kindest, most giving and loving person I know.

I have hopes, dreams, visions of what the future might hold.  But mostly, I just want to live everyday as it comes to me.  There will be rough moments and shiny ones.

Cheers to 30.  Cheers to life.  Cheers to it all.  It should be noted that I can't get "Good Life" out of my head.  It really is a good life isn't it!?